This is the second in the Holiday Series. Today’s blog is all about trust. Check it out.
What is trust? Webster’s Dictionary defines trust as “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth of someone or something. To rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of, to place confidence in, to commit or place in one’s care or keeping (to entrust), to permit to stay or to do something without fear or misgiving.
We have all had disappointments after we put our hopes, dreams, safety or feelings in the care of another person and they did not honor the thing they were entrusted with or keep sacred the promise they made. As those experiences added up over time and with different people, we started to tell ourselves a story about not being able to trust others. Often that story was reinforced by our loved ones who had experienced similar disappointments. And every time you entrusted a new person with your most prized possession or feeling or relied on them to keep their word and they didn’t, the next negative thought pattern was that there was something wrong with you. “I can’t trust myself because I keep relying on or depending on these people who don’t do what they say.”
As a spiritual being growing up as a black American and female in the 1970s with divorced parents, I had trust issues. Of course I did. What else would I have. I have traced the series of events, experiences, encounters, and disappointments that reinforced my belief that I couldn’t trust anyone and yet I continued to put my trust in everyone I encountered. Those who most loved me, disappointed me. My dad made promises he couldn’t keep. My friends were there for me in words and not always in deeds. When I started to like boys, …. Well, let’s just say they may have had good intentions but the results were that they didn’t keep their word, they disappointed me, and some, outright lied to get in the cookie jar.
When you questions yourself and your own inner knowing, when you don’t trust your own intuition, then you are in a quandary. You are double bound by your thinking and actions. You don’t trust others because they have disappointed you and you don’t trust yourself because those who you have relied on tell you, you don’t know what you know or because those people have not been trust worthy and since you placed you trust in them your judgement must be faulty.
It took me a long time to learn that I most needed to trust myself. I needed to connect to my true self, my spirit and trust that which has no words and which I can always rely on. When I learned to trust my instincts and my intuition and my inner knowing, I found myself less fearful about being hurt. I found myself setting more realistic expectations for myself and others. I found that I got a warning sign when something wasn’t right. When I followed that feeling even when I didn’t know what it meant, I was safe. And the more I did that, listened and obeyed my inner being, that place that speaks without words, the better everything became.
So how do you start? Meditate for 10 minutes at some point during your day. Focus on your breath to help you clear your mind. When your mind starts to race return your focus to your breath. If you need imagery…. Imagine you are in a safe place in nature. Imagine a secret place that only you can go to and where all is well. Focus on your breath. Feel your spirit inside your body. Feel the energy that is you. Feel your heart beating. And just be. Do this for 9 days. Then let me know what happened. Post your experience on our Life Mapping Facebook group.